Dreamcatchers don't work.
Up yet again at 1am dreaming about you. In 10 years, I dreamt about you maybe 10 to 15 times and now it's every fucking night. You still have so much control over me. My mind, my heart. I guess I'm still hurting. I still can't believe you left. But just know, if you and your troll break up, don't ever come crawling back. I would be a complete loser, just like you, to ever get back with you. I truly loved you. Every day I'd look forward to seeing you after work. And you left me because you were sick of me "not doing my part?" That's the stupidest reason. I stood by you thru everything. You didn't do your part for years. You didn't take care of me for years. I hope I never meet a guy like you again. Ever. You are the worst and best thing to happen to me. Worst because you broke me, best because you gave me B. Guess what? I haven't self medicated in months. No drinking, nothing. I won't give you the power. Now see, I have no control over my dreams. 10 years. 10 long ass fucking years. I'm so hurt, angry, sad, happy, excited for the new chapter, scared... I wish there was just one word. I know you'll never see this. Well hopefully. It's 1:39am right now. My nightmares woke me up and I can't go back to dreaming about you. Nope. I got 3 hrs of nightmares. Luckily tho, I'm getting into therapy. You've been the main topic ever since I was seeing P.B. Your dumb fucking ass lost our insurance so I'm fucked, yet again, by your sorry ass. You think only about your wee head. Once the troll sees the real you, or OUR money runs out, I bet she won't stay. But maybe she will. Honestly, I don't give a shit. I just want these nightmares to end. I need to get over you. I hate you.
From 2007 to 2018 we were together. We had a baby who I will call B. She was born Feb 25th. 10 years later, on her birthday, you left me. You left me for a Troll. I want you to know my mom did a background check on her and she's got identity theft on her record as well as drug charges. I wonder if she told you that? She's a meth addict. You have a wonderful woman around B. I'd like you to stop thinking with your dick and see the big picture. I stood by you thru everything. All the cheating, the homelessness, being a cheap ass and the lies. I was the only one married in our marriage. I took my vows seriously. I loved you with every bone in my body. Remember that time you raped me in 07? I didn't want to and I said no but you wouldn't take no for an answer, so I just layed there like a ragdoll while I was crying inside. That night I learned what "hating your guts" really meant. My love/hate feelings for you grew until the control took over. You were married ...
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